Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
(via hahaaaahaa)
why couldn’t the clams have sex?
one of them had clamydia
(via mexican-giggly-puff)
like ok hannibal is always making really nice meals and eating really fancy food
does he ever just go home after work and like stare at his freezer full of body parts and just
“you know i don’t really feel like human tonight.
im gonna have a hot pocket.”
(via deeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaadpool)
the only thigh gap i care about is the one you get when i spread your legs
(via djumauma)
Is ur name banana cuz id like to tap that potASSium
(via grubbsgrady)
